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As children, we all get asked the universal question, what do you want to be when you grow up? At 6 years old I would say without any hesitation and no restraint an Artist. Since I, carefree as they come, inevitably recognize the beauty of using my hands to produce something new. However, Growing into adulthood, I saw my previous views on life were in fact not what people expected.
Living in an imperfect world makes creative minds shunned and lower their economic status in society. I subconsciously molded myself to seclude from my individualistic values and subsequently rejected all the items I had praised proudly months before. Leading to the conclusion of what I would have to see myself as now. With my fragile, thin ego, I recruited to say what people will awe in my answer. At 13 years old, I would get asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? With hesitation and constraint, Ill respond, doctor. This is what was to come out of me if wanted to be respected. Since I didnt want to go against the current, I swam in the general direction.
Now, At 17 years old when asked the same question, what do you want to be when you grow up? Silence is all that followed. At this moment my answer undoubtedly included weight. Naturally, I would say Im undecided. However, in reality, I recognize the two choices I have. For one, I can align myself to what I must desire or say what everyone else expects of me. If were to choose the second answer I would be economically better off and people will visualize tremendous things about me. Yet the problems will not be transparent since only I could recognize the problem that will torture me. Thus, on this spot I am. Its not just about career-wise, but the answer to what personality traits do I want to show. Do I express myself artistically or do I accommodate the average ways of living? Either one or the other can distress me. As I dwell on this, I suffer from reality and I distance myself from what is the Purpose. But again, I ask myself the same battle question, but now I say: Are you content? With a naive question, I realize that I can never truly be content with either decision since no choice is 100% perfect. I have explored myself and lived through life I came to the realization that in order to live on this path we consider life; I mustnt live for others but for myself. I am my own person and when the sun dims down it is I who sleeps with my decision. Therefore, after years of internalization and suffering, I have to be true to myself. Ending in me valuing my thoughts. And when I get asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? With no hesitation and restraint and a carefree mind, I say, an Artist.
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